Why Children Need Healthy Boundaries To Make It In The Real World As Adults

Raising children is difficult but try to be as creative and stimulating as possible. Most importantly, don’t ignore boundaries.

Unfortunately, most of today`s kids are lacking the emotional ability to perform their best in both school and social situations.  There are a couple of factors that contribute to this problem, including: 

  • Technology

Kids nowadays spend most of their time with cellphones or tablets, neglecting physical exercise. This lack of exercise is detrimental to both mental and physical health as it slows down kids` development.

In addition, excessive technology use can cause kids to become dyslexic as well as emotionally detached from their parents and relatives.  This is a serious problem because the parents` presence is one of the critical elements for the healthy development of their brains.

  • Children get whatever they want anytime they want it

Here are some of the things you will hear many parents say:

 “She doesn’t like toys but she’s great with the I-Pad”,

“My son doesn’t like vegetables”,

“She doesn’t like to have breakfast”,

 “He doesn’t like to dress on his own”, “She’s lazy to eat on her own”,

“He doesn’t like going to sleep early”.

When did children become responsible for the way they are being raised?  We teach them that they can get whatever they want anytime they want it, and they are free to refuse to do the things they don’t like.

While we all strive to make our children happy, this only makes them happy in the present moment and unhappy in the long run. Why? Because without teaching them to make sacrifices they may never reach their destination.

  • Unlimited time play

The very first moment we see our kids being bored, we run to entertain them! If we fail to do so, we believe that we aren’t fulfilling our duty as parents.  They live in their “world of amusement” and we are stuck in our “world of work”.

Why is that so? Why shouldn’t they do the laundry with us, clean their rooms, put their toys in order, or help around the kitchen?  These simple tasks will kill their boredom and train their brain to work in times of boredom at the same time.  The brain has to be trained and developed so that they are better at assimilating what they learn in school.  Otherwise, when they are given a certain task at school, they will say: “I can’t, it’s too difficult and boring.

What to do?

  • Limit their use of technology and connect with them on an emotional level

Play games, dance together, play together, have lunch together, go out for a walk, have a pillow fight, leave them a caring note in their lunch box…

Most importantly, teach them how to wait!  Expand the time between “I want”, and “I get”. In other words, practice delaying gratification.

  • Don’t be afraid to put boundaries

Make a schedule for sleeping, eating, watching TV, playing computer games…  Think about what`s best for them, not what they desire at the moment.  They will be thankful for this later on in their lives.  Raising children is difficult but try to be as creative and stimulating as possible.  Most importantly, don’t ignore boundaries. They are healthy for them in the long run! Children need nourishing food, quality time together, regular sleep… Learn to turn these things into fun experience.

  • Teach them social skills

Teach them how to make compromises and how to compliment people. Additionally, teach them the value of sharing and how to win and how to accept failure.

  • Teach them to do monotonous work at an early age, because this will be a key component in their working life one day

Sorting their toys, doing the table, doing their bed, folding the laundry, for instance. Be innovative.  This will be a critical factor in their working life one day!