Small talk is quite a big issue for introverts. Why? Because it makes us feel uncomfortable. It is one of the major reasons why we are uncertain when it comes to meeting new people. It is one of the must-do social things we are not into that much.
Small talk is the introvert’s poison
Our strong dislike for chit-chat sometimes makes us look weird or socially inept. People may think that we are turning our heads away on purpose because we dislike people. However, the real cause for avoiding small talk isn’t the fact that we dislike people.
The thing is, introverts are aware of uncomfortable barrier between people that small talk creates. According to Laurie Helgoe, writer of Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength,
“Let’s clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.”
Small talk has been classified as absolute necessity in the world we live in. Did you know that Wikipedia has even described it as “social lubricant”? This sounds like good times, but it couldn’t be farther from the truth!
Small talk is supposed to be fun experience, but it flees from depth and meaning. Personal topics are not to be mentioned or discussed. Similarly, any show of emotion is frowned up. Consequently, authenticity goes spiraling down the drain.
In reality, small talk only makes two people have a whole conversation without actually getting to know each other.
Instead of being fun and comfortable experience, the conversation is flat and quite uninteresting.
Sometimes it can it could lead to a deeper conversation, and if we do make a good impression, it can help us meet new people.
For introverts, it is one of the obstacles that have to be overcome in order to get to the sweet spot. We get involved in it hoping that we will get to know someone who hates this formality as much as we do.
We hope to meet someone like us. Someone who asks spontaneous questions at laughs at things they aren’t supposed to laugh. We firmly believe that we will someday meet a person who is as authentic as we are. And, we are constantly at the lookout for people seeking depth and meaning.
We are aware of the fact that we will have to go through some small talk to find what we are looking for.