It seems like most girls complain about their mothers being too nagging, not realizing that they are doing it to protect them and prevent them from the consequences of their own behavior. Interestingly, although we all hate nagging, research shows that girls who have mothers who nagged them when they were younger are more likely to be successful in adulthood, in terms of getting a better job and avoiding teen pregnancy.
Ericka Rascon-Ramirez is the lead author of a study which involved more than 15,000 girls between the ages of 13 and 14. The study lasted for quite a long time (2004-2010). High parental expectations played an important role in the life choices of the girls. In this case, it was the expectation of the mother, who was most influential.
Unfortunately, teens don’t really appreciate the advice their mothers are giving them. But, regardless of whether they listen or not, nagging comes with its own set of benefits. Whether we want to admit it or not, it is a fact that having a nagging mother helps us to stay in line. In other words, if you grew up with a mother urging you to do the chores, encouraging you to participate in any possible activity at school, suggesting you finish the homework and the extra credit, you may need to write her a thank you note. Nagging does provide some benefits, and even though you wouldn’t be willing to admit it back then, now you can certainly thank you mother.
According to the research, “In many cases, we succeeded in doing what we believed was more convenient for us, even when this was against our parents’ will. But no matter how hard we tried to avoid our parents’ recommendations, it is likely that they ended up influencing…choices.”
Rascon-Ramirez found something else that is quite interesting. She noted, “What our parents expected about our school choices was, very likely, a major determinant of our decisions about conceiving a child or not during our teenage years.”
At this point, one of the more important that you can do is to learn how to nag your daughter. If you are already a nagging mother, be more confident in doing so. Don’t overdo it, but give your daughter the regular routine, such as informing her to do well in school, don’t do drugs, and not to get pregnant. It is good for them, and this is backed up by science.
To sum up, if your teenage daughter rolls her eyes at you, you may be doing this parenting the right way.